I’ve done it again.  I managed to mess up a work situation, a relationship, and my heart all at the same time.  And also experience my first same sex interaction.

Fabulous. 

Can’t wait to not care about any of this.

I’m only happy when I forget about you, when I don’t have to associate with your family, when I’m not waiting for you to show up and contribute.

Something’s gotta give.

Plus our sex sucks, money is a huge black hole of an issue, and I make you miserable.

On a mission to build bedroom furniture for myself.  I can’t stand all the fake cheap furniture made out of composite material and not real wood.  I’m aiming for a bed frame, two nightstands, and two dressers.  

Then I will build an entertainment center for the living room.

If only I had decided this three months ago.  Now everything will have to be left unfinished until next spring.

Check out ana-white.com for plans and such. 

I can’t wait to start riding this year.

I want to be out until my legs are aching and on fire and then get all warm and clean and get drunk on good beer and MOST importantly I would like to spend days at a time with my best friend.  Is it horrible to miss late night drunk driving on “Vermont plowed” back roads?

Because I do, horribly.

I’ll settle for going to Watchusett by myself, taking lessons, then driving home sober and alone.     

Lost.

Broken.

Guilty.

Dirty.

Sad.

I’m so sick of being lonely. :(

Finally interviewing for a job!!!!  Sometimes I surprise myself and deliver a perfect performance under times of pressure.  Hoping that I pull that off this time.